This is an entry on why I have decided to take a break from Facebook. I find it rather amusing that I need to even address/explain the reasons why this is occuring. Perhaps an explanation is not needed, but more importantly I would like for people to know they can still contact me through more genuine ways. And I hope this is a catalyst for exactly that. I know in myself, I can use this social tool we call Facebook, as a replacement for actually finding time to connect with the people I care and love, or even people I wish to deepen a relationship with. Who knows how many times I have thought of someone, and instead of picking up the phone and calling (which is what we used to do not so long ago) I end up on their Facebook page, and that can feel like enough of a connection at the time. But is it REALLY? That is what I have been asking myself. If I am feeling a lack of more meaningful connections with the people in my life, then get off the couch or computer and do something about it!!! And perhaps instead of when I get up in the morning, instead of checking in with facebook, I can check in with myself. The options may be endless people! As a momma, my time is oh so precious, and sometimes I feel like the days can slip by, without not a lot getting done. I feel like making this change will open up a window of time that I can use more in a creative way. I am also hoping this will allow me to blog/journal more so people can still find out what is going on in my world. And of course I will still put up pictures of Opal as she continues to brighten my world.

Nikki and Opal's email is gaias.gems@gmail.com.

Journeys of a beginner foodie

Opal is just shy of 6 months old, so as many millions of mothers before me have done, I am introducing Opal to solid food. It has been in my mind for a while, thinking about when to start, what to introduce first, baby led weaning or pureed....So many choices for a wanna-be well informed granola mom....Originally I was planning on doing the baby led weaning approach which involves giving your baby pretty much whatever you are eating your self, as well as staying away from feeding your baby by spoon. You give them soft but holdable pieces that they can discover on their own. Allowing your baby to feed them selves at a young age gives you and them more Independence, as well as hopefully not having an extended attachment to mushy foods. But then I remembered, I have a incredible phobia of chocking....See, when I was a little lass, about 2 years old, I chocked on  a penny and nearly died. I have known for many years, this event has stayed with me on a cellular level. I know as I mother, I am going to have to work towards healing and letting go of this fear. But to ease myself into the world of chocking hazards, I think I will start with purees!
Last night we gave Opal some brown rice cereal mixed with breast milk. She seemed interested but I am not sure how much she actually ate. She did have a fun time playing with the spoon, which is pretty distracting as it is a bright pick, with a cow head on the top.

Springing into action

Wow, so it has been a long time since I have posted anything. The thought of writing a blog post has definitely floated into my mind many a times, but it is quickly whisked away by all the things that have to be done. One of the thing that has kept me rather busy( minus Opal in her 6 month glory), is our garden.

It has been such a wonderful learning process in many ways. For many years I have dreamt of growing my own garden. I have always felt that the rewards for growing your own foods were as plentiful and diverse as the bounty you receive form said garden. But like everything worthwhile in life, you have to put in a lot if you wish to receive a lot. And apparently it is a little more complicated then just putting some seeds in the ground and watching them grow. That is a good starting point for any wanna-be gardener, but there are limited options to what you can do/grow as a organic gardener.

This season I am shedding away judgement and fear and just planting some seeds and watching them grow! And man, have i already learnt a lot. So far nothing has died, and most things are flourishing. Some plants are doing better then others, and I am trying to observe as much as possible what makes these little green miracles not just survive, but thrive!

Just like how every plant is different, so are us humans. Like how a lettuce may wither and die from too much sun, a drought resistant herb like Rosemary or Lavender will grow to be strong in the harsh rays of the afternoon heat. But we also evolve to the elements we are exposed to, and at first our goal is just to survive, with the hope in the future one day we may thrive.  As a new mother, I know this to be true. Between loads of laundry, non stop nursing/burping/changing schedule, and perhaps getting some food in our mouths, it can be hard to believe that we will ever thrive in this new and challenging role. But after some time, those huge tasks become the greatest joys of the day. And maybe after a little while longer, between the 5 loads of laundry (clothe diapers after all!) I can find a time to breath deep and feel a deep sense of fulfilment.

Back to the garden, I should tell you what it is I am growing.....
Tomatoes(a few cherry, and some slicing)
Peppers
Cucumbers
Leeks
Green onions
Carrots
Beets
Radishes
Lettuces
Greens
Kale
A variety of herbs(mostly perennials)
Kohlrabi
Bush Beans
Fennel
Zucchini
Squash
Peas
Garlic

Getting my drawing on!

Well I was starting to fear that I was approaching the point of not being able to call myself a jeweller anymore. Perhaps I should have never called myself one in the first place. But I decided you don't need an art degree or a high sales record to use such titles. I make jewelry, and I sell it when I actually make it. Good enough for me. But I have been plagued with this guilt about my lack of ambition towards "making it" as a jeweller. I go back and forth between loving it and hating it, thinking I have a gift and thinking everything I make is utter crap... You know how it goes!

Well this week I busted out my lovely sketch book my sis bought be for Christmas a few years ago (that has far to many empty pages) and dusted off my pencils. One page filled with sketches for a commission I am working on, and lots of other ideas flowing out too. I am even donating a piece to a silent auction for a great cause. Now I just need to do a major clean up and organisation in my studio, and keep the creative juices flowing. After all, I am whatever I decide I am.

Energy creates energy!

What a month this one has been! Each day brings new joys and lessons for expansion. Our precious gem is living up to her names meaning more and more every day. She is full of sweet sounds and even sweeter smiles. She is completely content sitting and watching mamma break a sweat around the house, but she really comes alive when you get down on her level. Our favourite spot is on our big sheep skin in front of the fire. Time seems to melt away when Opals got you in her grasp. She holds you there with over the top gibberish (which I know is definitely NOT gibberish) and the shared excitement of discovering her bodies great abilities. She is very comfortable in her body, and loves to use it. In the morning, after a few good smiles, she wants to get standing and feel the strength of her legs holding her up. Other times, she likes to get to know her voice. Mamma can have a quick shower, while she tells the ceiling all about her life!

This month has been busy, but unlike the last few with visiting, this one is filled with things around the house. We moved into our home in the summer, and we love it completely. But Ryan was so busy working and I was busy being pregnant, we never really settled in. Sure we unpacked, and made the place relatively homey, but not really homey. I didn't even do the whole "nesting" thing either, at the end of my pregnancy. But oh am I nesting now! Well perhaps I am more then just nesting, I am evolving. See, I always admired people who made their lives artful, like their home, their expression, their cooking, their very being oozing yummy artfulness. I considered myself an artist but not in that way. I didn't have the will. But since Opal has been born, the will was been birthed along with her. All of a sudden, my life has this great meaning. Of course Opal is a major part of that, but I am still here too. In realising that I am a mother, I am discovering that I can be so much more then that. If I can conceive, grow, and birth this incredible human, then I can conceive. grow and birth anything! So far this new discovery has helped me finally get my home organised. Of course this is still a work in progress (Ryan asked what am I going to do when all the rooms are organised and put together, I said I would finally learn how to sow!).

Well I am a little obsessed with chalkboard paint at the moment. If I'm not careful, my whole house might become a giant chalkboard! It is just so darn useful, and it adds a lovely addition to any room. I even painted the inside of a cupboard door to write food menu ideas on. Yesterday, in the music room/ my closet, I pained the closet doors with chalkboard paint, so Ryan could have a place to jot down lyrics or cords.

OK, seriously can't get enough of that face!

Did I mention I am in love with this little gal? Well I am! Opal, your the best daughter this mamma could of asked for. Keep on meltin my heart.

Merry Motherhood

Opal Skye Georgina Hollett is 6 weeks old tomorrow! How time flies. It seems like a distant dream the day she entered our world, could even be a dream happening to someone else. Its like she has always been with us, and maybe she has. From the day she was born, our life has been filled with so much joy, laughter and love, with a surprisingly small amount of tears. We are blessed with a superb baby, that eats and sleeps very well. Like mother like daughter I guess is what they say! She has only had one rather fussy evening as of yet, because we dragged her out to the Glanora Farm Fair when she was almost 3 weeks old. She let us know that evening that it was to much for her.

She turned 3 weeks old on Christmas eve. We had such a lovely holiday with both Ryan and my families. Opal was such a good girl and slept through most the the holidays. We played it pretty low key and didn't buy much for people. I crocheted a few things and gave a few framed first family photograph.

Once the busy rush of the holidays wore off, we were able to get back to focusing on our growing family. Opal changes so quickly, if you look away for to long you may miss a magical moment like her first smile, or holding her head up for over 5 seconds. We are enjoying the time we both have to get to know the person Opal is. She is such a balanced baby! She loves to be held all the time, and doesn't sleep much during the day of she isn't being snuggled. We don't mind! But for when Ryan goes back to work, I have the Ergo Carrier, the holy grail of all carriers!

Ryan has been off work since before Opal was born and will be off until the end of January. I think it is so important for fathers to be home for the first few weeks or even months. They have the opportunity to bond with their newborn, as well as build confidence in caring for their child.

Opal started smiling at just before 5 weeks old, and now at 6 weeks, is smiling all the time. Especially when she wakes up in the morning! She loves to look deep into momma or daddy's eyes and meet our smiles with hers. She especially loves to do this when standing up. She has even started to coo and make unbelievably cute sounds.

I feel so honoured to be the mother of this extraordinary being.  I know she will teach us as much as we will teach and guide her. Thank you Opal for picking us!

Opal's birth story

Its been almost a month since Opals arrival to our world, and I better put the story down before it starts to fade. Every day is so full with magical moments that I must make room for more.

8 am on December 3rd, Ryans 30th birthday...I wake up to what I believe is my water breaking. I was not sure because it was more like sporadic gushes but I was pretty sure labour had begun since I was having regular but mild contractions. I mean, I was 10 days overdue, it had to happen some time! The midwife happened to call around 8 30, and said she would be by later in the day to check in. I called my support sisters to let them know what was going on. They planned on coming over in a few hours. Ryan and I decided to walk to the grocery store, but walking made the contractions much more intense so we came back home. I think I must of looked pretty funny in the isles, hunched over swaying back and forth. It was the first time the contractions felt alittle tough to get through. During the afternoon, the contractions seemed to slow down unless I was moving around. Erin and Nicole came over for a while, but I started to feel like I had to entertain them since not much was happening. They left, as my sister arrived from Victoria. At 4pm the midwife came over and confirmed that things were very early, as I was still 1 cm dilated. But I was 100% thinned which was good. She told me to take a bath and try to sleep as it was going to be a long night. Jen went home and I took a bath but by that time, labour was definitely picking up!
Ryan and I laboured at home by ourselves for many hours. At that point I was in my zone, I was not timing contractions or even paying attention to the time. I sat on my birthing ball. swaying and making deep moaning sounds. Afew times I felt as if I was loosing control, and made Ryan call Kate. She would suggest things like sitting in the shower on my birthing ball. I was annoyed she wasn't rushing over to my aid, but she knew it was still early and it was in the muddle of the night.  I would retreat to the shower when I couldn't handle the surges on my own.  I tried lying down at one point, because I was starting to feel pretty tired. but that made the contractions totally unbearable. At around 2, we called Kate and she decided it was time for her to come over. When she got to our house, I was 6 cm dilated. Her and Ryan set up the pool, while I laboured with Nicole, Ryans sister. Jen and Erin showed up right after I got into the pool.  Selina, the other midwife arrived. I didn't find that the water helped with the contractions but it did help me relax in between.  At that point I was 9 cm and feeling a strong urge to push. Wow, I remember thinking, this is it!!! But wait...They had me get out of the pool to check me again, and they realised that her head was pinching the last little but my cervix. Darn, first hick up. and everything was going so well! They tried for what seemed like an eternity to get rid of the lip of the cervix. They had me lying on my back during a contraction, pushing as Kate tryed to push the cervix back. They would check a few contractions later and it would be back! They suggested that I sit on the toilet, in hopes that the gravity of the babes head would cause the last bit of cervix to get pushed back. Well I will tell ya, that there was the worst/longest part of the whole thing! I remember sitting there being so pissed at everyone. As I sat there, fighting the urge to push, feeling a tremendous pressure in my bottom Ryan decided he needed a break! Not cool, I remember thinking. Of course in his defence, he had been by my side for over 12 hours at this point and the poor guy just had to go to the bathroom. The lovely Erin took his place supporting me, but I remember not being happy about that! I could hear everyone else chatting in the kitchen, and every few contraction, Kate or Selina would poke their head into the bathroom and say "Just a few more there, and we will check you", and give me some homoeopathic Cohosh to help strengthen the contractions. It felt like I had a hundred contractions sitting there on the toilet, but that probably isn't the case! And trying not to push when your body is screaming at you to do so, THAT was HORRIBLE! Finally they freed me from the bathroom, and checked me. Damn, same thing, this time my cervix has started to swell. Fuck, I remember thinking, I am either going to be in labour forever, or I am going to end up strapped to a cold table and have my baby cut out of me. Is there a third option, because I am nit thrilled about either of those...One last effort, they had we walking around our kitchen island, and when I had a contraction I would squat in front of the sink and push. At this point, the contractions were becoming more spaced and less intense.

At this point, it was suggested that it was time to go the the hospital and get oxyticin and an epidural. I was so tired, and felt like I had given everything I had and there was no more to give. After a good cry, we drove to the hospital, over 24 hours since my water had broken. Luckily I only had 2 contractions in the car! We walked right into a private room, and they set me up with a iv drip of oxytocin and fentinal for the pain, as it was going to be some time before they could give me an epidural. During the next few contractions I floated in and out of reality, dreaming of meeting our baby. I could feel the oxytocin kicking in and was wishing the epidural would come soon. Around that time, the babies heart rate started to drop, but would go back up. I could feel the tension in the room rise, but I was so exhausted and dopey that I don't thing I really understood what was going on. I do remember hearing her heart beat on the monitor, and feeling like I could barely hear it. Such a change from the quick rhythmic beating we had heard for the last 9 months. Kate said that we had to get her out now, so she had me push. But I didn't have the urge to push anymore. She said it didn't matter.  After a few unsuccessful attempts, she left the room to call someone about a vacuum extractor, While she was out of the room, the babies head started to crown, as well as her heart rate dropped once more. This was it. The moment when you feel like you cant go on....Like you don't have the strength or courage to do what needs to be done.  Each push, I felt like giving up half way through, but somehow I found the strength to push just a little more. There was a strong sense of urgency behind every push. My legs were way back by my head and people were supporting my feet and giving me leverage to push on. At one point I was pushing Kate over! The kind nurse replaced her so I wouldn't injure the midwife. As her head came out, so did lots of mechonium. There was some yelling to get suction because her head was not totally out. They were able to suction out her nose thankfully. Her shoulder seemed to be caught, as she was not moving foreword. Kate had to pull rather hard to get the rest of her out. Out she finally came, and as soon as her cord was cut, she was pulled off of me to be checked out. She didn't cry right away, and I remember yelling, "Is my baby ok!?!"  Then after what seems like an eternity, she cries! That is the most beautiful sound you will ever hear.